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Daniel got married last night, which means that my immdiate family is at its 2/3rds growth stage right now since this year alone. What is that you ask? Nora got married in October, Daniel got married yesterday, both adding an additional member to the immediate family and adding countless others to the extended list, and then Nora's baby is due next month. 2/3 way done growing. Life is changing quickly in my little world.
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Tuesday, February 17th, 2009
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I have a very easy time finding individuals to enjoy my time with. In school, I often would visit three different groups of people because I felt very connected to one of its members. At L'arche, it is different. I find I get along with everyone individually and love hanging out in a whole group when everyone gets together. Its a new feeling.
With this wedding coming up this weekend, I have been tossed into this whole, do I fit in insecurity that comes from becoming attached to individuals and not necessarily the individual's group. It has taken me a while to figure out who I will be staying with for the weekend. Right now, I may end up staying in a room with two to three guys because I know the girl group is so close that I don't really want to be a hindrance on their weekend by being a part of their group. Weird thing is, I lived with two of them for a half of a year, and still I feel like I don't fit in. This is a weird feeling, after feeling so secure for the past few months. Being tossed back into insecurity is very odd indeed.
I will enjoy the wedding. I just emotionally am going through some weird things I wish I didn't have to deal with. I will make the best out of it, of course. I just have to decide who to stay with on Saturday night soon.
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Sunday, February 1st, 2009
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I spent a great day today with Lindsay, Emily and Jake. The last time I saw them was before Christmas and it was great to catch up, trade stories and reconnect with Lindsay.
The thing I like seeing Lindsay is not like many others seeing her gorgeous daughter. I like seeing Lindsay because for whatever reason, the honesty in our friendship brings me a kind of peace. We haven't spent much time together within the past two years, but the times when we do get together I always leave thinking here is a girl who has thought through her life and is taking things as they come. She is a wonderful mother and a good friend. She is honest and I respect her judgment.
Today we talked about her wedding plans, and my plans to go up to New York to see the family join together in their home church. Lindsay is getting excited for the wedding, and so am I. Its only 20 days away, which is at times overwhelming to think about even for me. But the wedding will be very fun. I lived with Lindsay junior year and will be thrilled to spend time with our friends at the wedding.
Emily is growing so fast. Its hard to believe that a few months can show so many clear areas of growth, but for Emily, that is pretty much all she has time for. She is a sweet baby and I am very happy for Lindsay and Jake that they have such a happy little girl.
I was sad to leave tonight when I did. I had a super bowl thing to get to. I almost would have liked to just spend more time with the young family, but I thought ahead to bed time, and thought it better that I leave before I had overstayed my welcome. I do hope to spend more time with them soon after the wedding. I loved seeing them. They brought me much joy today.
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Friday, January 30th, 2009
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This is the dinosaur that Jesse Yoder, who lives in my house, drew for Draw a Dinosaur day:
And here is mine:
There we have it :)
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Saturday, January 24th, 2009
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Mission Statement of Loyola's Center for Community Service & Justice:
The Center for Community Service & Justice engages students and the broader Loyola Community in education through service for a just and equitable world. We are committed to collaboration with community partners and to involvement with people who are marginalized, especially those who are materially poor. Our work is inspired by and flows from the Jesuit Catholic educational mission at Loyola College that calls for a dynamic integration of academic excellence, social respoinsibility and faith that serves justice.
I am currently sitting at one of the computers I have worked timeless times on during the years I lived, learned, and worked at Loyola. I sneaked in the back door as I have learned is not always closed and I'm now sitting in an empty office. It does look different than I recall it to be. For one, its cleaner than normal. There is a new water dispensing machine that appears to not ue water jugs. I know of at least four offices that have different occupants in them this year, not to mention the student employees here. It is still the same place though for me. I still feel at home here and I still love the building as much as the ideals it stands for.
Loyola encouraged me to see that I am capable, talented, and valued through my work with CCSJ. It was through CCSJ I caught the L'Arche bug. It was here that I discovered my talent for organizing events and making people feel like they have a good time while learning about poverty and its counter part of justice. I am in love with CCSJ, in love with L'Arche, in love with service and in love with the fact that I was able to experience all these experiences with great people who will continue to change the reality of everyone they meet.
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Friday, January 9th, 2009
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I've been listening to a lot of what I call Classic Rock recently. Sometimes, Classic Rock ends as late as early 90s but begins as early as the 60s. The point is, after listening to so much of it, I am reminded how much of what comes out today is lacking in substance, instrumentally and lyrically. How many artists now a days use an organ to add levels to their music? Or even a drum solo? Where have all the drum solos gone?
When I went to the Counting Crows/Maroon 5 concert I was imdeiately faced with this dillema. I love both bands but the difference in performance level between the two of them are huge. Adam Duritz for one part reinvents himself every chance he gets by changing up the songs he sings. He is a conductor in his concerts and he is the master of ceremonies. Adam Levine however, is just the voice and the face. The performance is good in the sense that it sounds just as it should, or just at it sounds on any recording. But sometimes, you want that level of passion that Duritz has; the understanding that the performer is not only perfoming for the audience but experiencing the mood of the music in his own right.
I would not call Counting Crows a Classic Rock band. However, it is that passion which I feel is missing in many of the modern day bands that the classics understood. Maybe it was partially because of the drugs they were on, but I wish more bands had that level of commitment to their craft as the classics had.
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Thursday, December 18th, 2008
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When I said I was twenty three, she told me, Oh. When I was twenty three I was pregnant. I had been married for two years but I hadn't become pregnant yet. Yeah. I was probably pregnant.
The other said, Twenty three? *Laughs* I thought you were nineteen.
To be expected.
The other. Wow. You are twenty three now. Woah. Thats a big deal. COngratulations.
Three women. Three different walks of life. Three different perspectives on my birthday. I've enjoyed the late night and do not look forward to getting up in the morning, but this must be done. As always.
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Monday, December 8th, 2008
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There are times when I really wish that I had a boyfriend.
One instance of this is when I know I look great.
Today Kathleen and I went shopping, as has become quite a regular event. We have a wedding to go to next weekend as a house and I was asked to assist a core member down the aisle during the presentation of the gifts in a Catholic service. I was thrilled, but I needed an outfit.
The green dress is at home, and I honestly think it could be too formal for this L'Arche event. Kathleen and I have been keeping our eyes peeled for dresses and outfits since November. Finally, the time came when we actually knew it was do or die. Today's main goal of an entire afternoon was to shop for a wedding outfit for the both of us. True, we had our stand-by dresses, but who wants to wear something people have seen you in already for a wedding? Not me. (I know I sound a bit ridiculous. Go with it people.)
Kathleen was very lucky at Anne Taylor when she found a lovely blue number, and another blouse for only $58 total. We love sales.
I was unlucky during the morning, but we took our time regaining our strength by eating some sushi. I brought up that I might want to get my hair cut and the next thing I knew I was getting my hair blow dried and looking at a very fantastic new style.
Finally, we decided to visit what we hope to be our future friend at Arden B, which is a hit or miss store but always fun to visit when Kelly is around. Kelly works full time, I believe, at Arden B and we stop in to say hello when we go shopping on Monday afternoons (Sundays and Mondays are our weekend days). Kelly was on the phone this time, but I found a potential outfit to try on. I previously bought a pair of purple what I now know to be four inch heels. Good thing I did because the pants I tried on fit perfectly when I wore the shoes. The shirt I was also a little worried about. Around the front collar are about five bows. The shirt is a silky type grey-silver color. I walked out of the changing room and looked in the floor length mirror.
Lets just say, at that moment I wished I had a guy to slyly tell me I looked good without being awkward.
I'm a dreamer. What can I say? It is just one of those knock out outfits that every girl wants. And I will hopefully be able to wear it out on a serious date. None of this having dinner out at Chips nonsense that would always be considered dinner between friends. A real date with wine and dimmed lights and no football in the background.
I sometimes shock myself with romantic thoughts. I'd just as soon wear my Smithsonian baseball hat backwards in an over sized tee-shirt and pair of jeans, drinking beer or whiskey and watching baseball in a suitably crowded bar or a living room. Either way, I just wish I had someone to spend that time with because right now, Im just enjoying my gorgeousness by myself and with friends. Fun, just not all that it could be.
Y'all know what I mean.
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Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008
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Is Yahoo! seriously having technical difficulties, or is it just me?
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Sunday, November 30th, 2008
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I swear under four extreme occasions. 1) Someone really really ticked me off and I let it out when the person isn't present.
2) I am really upset about something, which may precede tears. You know, the anger stage of greef. My anger stage usually is quite short.
3) Im watching baseball. Thats kind of a given. Good or bad, I am likely to swear at the television set. Usually not in the stadium because games at stadiums are a lot less stress ridden in my own personal experience.
4) I'm gleeful and I want to stop obsessing over something that will probably never happen. I usually will include the words, "Stop it, Elizabeth!" within the conversation with my self and then swear at myself quite a few times. I amuse myself a lot. I hope everyone can at least once feel the insanity of my mind because really, its a joy.
I'm an odd duck.
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Tuesday, November 25th, 2008
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Just thought I'd check in with myself. If you want to check back to the initial version (May 15, 2005) you will see how much I have changed. I still think its fairly accurate.
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||| 46%
Stability |||||||||||||||| 62%
Orderliness |||||||||||||| 54%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Interdependence |||||||||| 36%
Intellectual |||||||||||| 46%
Mystical |||||||||||| 50%
Artistic |||||||||| 36%
Religious |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Hedonism |||||||||||| 43%
Materialism |||||| 23%
Narcissism |||||| 30%
Adventurousness |||| 16%
Work ethic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Humanitarian |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Conflict seeking || 10%
Need to dominate |||||||||| 36%
Romantic |||||| 23%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 43%
Anti-authority |||||||||| 36%
Wealth |||||||||| 36%
Dependency |||||| 30%
Change averse |||||||||||| 50%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 70%
Individuality |||||||||||| 43%
Sexuality |||||| 30%
Peter pan complex |||||||||| 36%
Family drive |||||||||||| 43%
Physical Activity |||||||||||| 43%
Histrionic |||| 16%
Paranoia |||| 16%
Vanity |||||| 30%
Honor |||||||||||||||| 63%
Thriftiness |||||||||||||||| 70%
Stability results were moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Orderliness results were medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.
Extraversion results were medium which suggests you are moderately talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting.
trait snapshot:
rarely irritated, positive, tough, non phobic, fearless, likes the unknown, self reliant, high self control, confident, trusting, strong instincts, prudent, optimistic, willful, likes parties, prefers a specialized career, takes charge, altruistic, strong, high self concept, adventurous, practical, thoughtful
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Tuesday, November 18th, 2008
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I have been at L'Arche for a month and two days now and I have learned much about my house mates and about myself.
Here is a shocker: I am somewhat an idealist. I have faith that everything works out the way it is supposed to and that living and working here, for me is easy. I work and live and love. I've learned that the thing that drew me into L'Arche is something that many people struggle with while here. I have the ability to love with much of myself, but in many friendships, I feel like I put more into them than I get. At L'Arche, the core members never think twice about loving. Of course they will get angry at me for making them accountable for the things they do, but who wouldn't? Every day after work, they are just happy to come home and say hello again. I sometimes need that reassurance that the love I put into relationships are reciprocal and at L'Arche, there is no question of that.
While I find it very easy to love and be loved, others who live here find it very difficult. People come to L'Arche for many reasons. I feel like most people do come to feel that acceptance, but many arn't actually ready to accept that they deserve it, for whatever reason. The assistants who work at L'Arche many times are just trying to figure out their place in the world. I've still got my five year plan going, but many people here are just trying to figure out what is important to them, whether they be 22 or 52.
This all creates conflict within the house. There are 9 people living in this house. We all have our own room, but I feel like at times some people would lock themselves in their room only to avoid coming out to see each other. These are the assistants, not the core members. Many of the arguments in the house I find trivial, but most conflict arises from assumption, memory from past experience, and miscommunication.
Today we had a fairly positive meeting involving the four assistants, but 25 minutes later in a different meeting (they say L'Arche is French for meeting. In fact it is French for the Arc as in Noah, but who really knows French anymore? :( ) all the progress of the previous meeting seemed to have unraveled in a new bitter comment.
I am partially removed and partially involved from the situation and in that way, anger hasn't exactly turned toward me yet. When it does (sadly I am predicting a day when it could), Im afraid that I may get angry back, but I may also surprise myself by being the strong woman I have somehow grown into by being calm and explaining myself without much hubub and taking the response for what it is.
Community is difficult, but I was aware of all of this before signing up to come here. I am happy to be a part of it because I am happy that I am here, and I am learning a lot about how different people react to conflict.
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Sunday, November 9th, 2008
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I had the great pleasure this weekend of meeting Jean Vanier, the founder of the worldwide L'Arche community. What began as a gesture of gratitude to a friend and growth in the knowledge of how mental institutions worked in France, Jean has helped to form a worldwide community based on faith, love, and brokenness.
Jean was speaking at Duke University's Divinity School about being everyday peacemakers. In order to be a peace maker, you need to meet people. And you can't meet people and expect them to be who you want them or expect them to be. They will surprise you and they will be different. But to love is to accept that difference, knowing that everyone lives and grows differently.
He is a very gentle, loving man, and uses his whole body to welcome and accept friends into his life. He speaks with passion, but I can't imagine, though I know he must, with raising his voice. The man permeates unconditional love, and it is basically amazing.
Jean will probably make very few trips back to the United States, knowing that he needs more rest as his 80th birthday has come and gone. He is a blessed man and he wants deeply to share his wisdom with as many people as he possibly can, but knows he probably doesn't have much time left to do so.
I am lucky to have been in the place to meet him.
Side note, I saw my high school principal there. It is awesome to me how random people can loop in and out of your life you never expected to see.
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Monday, October 27th, 2008
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I have been having a lot of bonding time with Kathleen, the assistant who has been here the longest (almost 5 months) who is my age. It has been really fun chatting with her about all sorts of important things such as major life events and morality. Basically everything you can think of. We also have a guest staying at the house who is checking out L'Arche. She is an outsider looking into the houses, but Kathleen, and I have really spent a lot of time with Beth over these past few days and already we are talking about visiting her in Nashville.
Two days ago the three of us went through Kathleen and my closets to analyze our wardrobe choices. Bascially, Beth behaved as our own personal Clinton or Stacy. Both of us got rid of a few things that would not move us into the professional world of adulthood and away from college clothing. Sadly, I still have far too many tee shirts and not enough shirts that I can wear day to day that are more adult. Anyway, today we went out shopping and went out to the movies. It was a very fun day.
Then around bed time after Beth had left, I went downstairs to get a snack and noticed that the woman who works as an awake over night member of our community was not feeling well, and after about an hour of vertigo, we decided as a group that maybe it wouldnt be a bad idea to take her to the hospital.
Im exhausted. It probably isnt anything serious, and I dont plan of finding anything more about it until tomorrow, but as it stands now, the doctor thinks she may have some sort of inner ear infection, which I would agree with. At first I didnt think it was that since also seemed disoriented, but thinking about it more, I think that may just have been that she took longer to respond to questions because of her genreal discomfort and nausia.
Anyway, just thought Id check in. Tomorrow Im meeting up with my friend Lindsay to catch up and to meet her beautiful baby girl, Emily Ann. Im so very blessed to be around so many women in different stages in their lives right now to bond with. I enjoy my female bonding time a great deal sometimes.
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Tuesday, October 21st, 2008
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One of the main goals of any L'Arche community is to build support systems in local communities for the people with developmental disabilities and their families. Our job as assistants is to welcome guests and neighbors into our home and spread awareness and hopefully comfort in the hearts of those who visit us.
Its an easy job for me to be hospitable, but we will always be busy. We will constantly have dinner guests and will constantly be planning holiday events. Some exciting consequences of this is that I get to meet lots of different people from all over the world. We have a guest staying with us now from Germany with her little 3 year old child who is a joy to watch open up to everyone in the house. In about two weeks the whole community will travel to Duke University to be a part of a National convention and to meet with the world founder of L'Arche, Jean Vanier. We are hosting a Halloween party and a Christmas open house. I will always look forward to new things.
I still don't know when I will be taking my vacations. I will be sure to let people know when I plan on coming back to CT for a visit. I will definitely NOT be home for Thanksgiving. That is all I know at the moment.
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Sunday, October 19th, 2008
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| Time: | 4:35 pm. |
| Mood: |  hopeful. | | Music: | Rooftops and Invitations, Dashboard Confessional. |
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Its been a long time coming, but the wedding is done with and it was enjoyable. I especially enjoyed hanging out with Eileen and Stephanie, almost falling on the alter fixing the train (doesnt sound fun, but believe me, it was hilarious to me) seeing my relatives dancing at the reception, and hanging out with Todd and Bobby (AKA Bobbie according to my sister).
And now Im in Arlington! I have had a stress free time here so far, since training doesnt start til tomorrow. I am happily right now just enjoying the company and hostipality of the L'Arche community (they put me up and feed me. And then they pay me for doing chores. Whats with that?) I have especially enjoyed getting to know Kathleen, the assistant who has been here the longest (4 months) who just graduated from a small school in Maryland and is very much like me with the exception of being more extraverted. Its been fun hanging out with her for the past few nights. Plus, she gives me chocolate. :)
Today I went to the Renaissance festival in Maryland that Ive been to before with school. I went with Courtney, one of my roommates from last year and we had a really fun time wandering Ye Olde Shoppes and eating fried food and drinking ale. :) Im glad she lives near by so that we can see each other. Plus, she is one excuse for me to get out of the house on my "Away Days" which are my weekend days that Im encouraged to leave the house so I acutually feel like Im not working on the weekend. My away days now will be Sundays and Mondays. The other option is Friday and Saturday. I don't know which I would prefer. Im happy right now to do anything, really.
READING. Its wonderful. The library is about two blocks away. Right now Im reading seven books. I hope to make that number smaller, but knowing me, that might be a challenge.
Im happy. :)
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Monday, September 29th, 2008
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Im starting to get annoyed with my sleeping habits. Actually, Ive been annoyed with them for quite some time. I stay up too late, and dont wake up til the afternoon, missing out on a large portion of sunrise. But when ever I try to get more appropriate sleep paterns, such as by going to bed early, my mind races and I need to get up to have a drink of water, write something down, go to the bathroom, blah blah blah. I dont get tired.
I can see my sleep patterns getting more regulated after I have job which demand my time and energy in some kind of structured routine, which I am currently missing.
One of my favorite thought patterns now a day circulates around wedding preparations. Shoes, dress alterations, hair dos, bags, invitations, flowers, ect. Even if I should not be conscerned with a fair amount of things involving wedding prep, my mind goes to them anyway. And I love it. True, I am stressed out by the time line sometimes, the wedding being two weeks away, and all, but I also love being busy. I love having a task to complete and completing it. I love having check lists on a page and crossing them off as I go. And the wedding has given me something to do in this otherwise taskless extended summer.
Im very excited to see my family and friends at my sister's wedding, to the point of stressing out over it. Will I have time to eat and say hello to everyone I love and care about and dance and chat and relax and just have fun? Im sure I will, but I think Ive been anticipating the event for so long that Im giving myself too much pressure.
Of course on the day of the wedding, my basic responsibilities will end as soon as we get to the reception and theoretically I could be left to my own devices to have fun. I foresee challenges to that situation. But I will say one thing. Im too much of a control freak to not let myself have a good time. I will make sure I do that.
Now if only I could make myself get to bed, that would be fantastic.
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Saturday, September 13th, 2008
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Five years ago, I am not absolutely positive that I would be voting Obama as I will be in November. The only issue that would have held me back is the abortion issue. I was and still am morally opposed to abortion, for multiple reasons. First and foremost I do believe that a baby is a baby (complete with soul) at the moment of conception. I am very proud of a friend of mine who found herself unexpectedly pregnant during last year and decided to take her situation as a blessing. Not a month into her pregnancy was she announcing it to her friends as having a baby instead of being pregnant. Semantics is immensely important in this situation. Not only do my beliefs conflict with the medical procedure, but I also find it morally objectionable on behalf of the mothers who do go through with it and have to live with that knowledge for the rest of their lives. Those women understand that at one point in their lives they could have had a special and unique child that will never come back to them. I feel that my position stands more for them, for the women than for anyone else. The babies who are aborted do not have that sense of morality, but the women do. And I stand for woman's happiness and not for a woman's right to choose.
Five years ago, I may have voted on that one issue. That is, if the candidate also wasn't a war monger, which I saw Bush to be, so I vote for Kerry. Now, there are some positive qualities to McCain, but not enough. He still believes that war can be won. In my opinion, no war can be won. War is a lose lose situation. And in this situation, when we are in an occupation of another country, historically, we cannot win. We kicked out the government, trained policemen, and did our best, Im sure, to keep stability in the area. But no country will be stable with another country monitoring its every move and breath. It will always rebel and try its best to govern itself by whatever means it sees fit. Unfortunately, our time has passed a long time ago.
This is a primary reason why I will vote Obama in the November election. I will put my faith in the community organizer to whip our government into shape. I hope no Roe vs Wade decisions come during his reign as president to be sure, but I have faith that he will see the government at large differently than his predecessor and component. I have worked as a part of a community organization project as a student service coordinator at Loyola College, and I have seen that the type of people who work within communities such as Baltimore City, Biloxi, MS, Newark, NJ, Cumberland, VA, and other places around the country are the ones who are making an effort to make life better for at least one individual at a time. As President of the United States, a community organizer has the potential to bring millions of people the dignity and respect they deserve though their unique background of seeing things as they really are as a politician.
I pray, for the sake of the citizens of the United States that Obama wins in November. I understand that once I get my job of choice, I will potentially have to pay a good deal of taxes, but I also understand that I am among the top 2% of the world population that gets to attend college let alone go to grad school for a professional degree. Any extra taxes that I have to pay is something to laugh at when I consider that it is to relieve taxes for those who live pay check to pay check to feed their families.
Yes, service has ruined me for life. I will always be a democrat, no matter what my church says about right to life issues. Personally, I think Obama will save more lives by pulling out of the war than McCain will by taking a hard stand on abortion issues.
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Friday, September 12th, 2008
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Thursday, September 11th, 2008
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So I just finished watching Definitley, Maybe, and can I just say I was shocked at how good it was? I had no idea that Ryan Reynolds could pull off serious romanic comedy leading man. I enjoy his other comedies, but good for him, he has the ability to pull away from the crude college humor (which I secretly love) and to have a major career in front of him. At least that is my opinion.
All with the help of little Abigail Breslin, who is extremely talented and a joy to watch on film.
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lizerspitz's journal
exhausted.
chilly.